However, parenting can also be fun and rewarding. With the right tools and the right support, parenting can be the greatest job you will ever have. You can't find all the answers by reading books and magazines. Problems with a toddler that won't eat won't be found in a 3 page article in a parenting magazine. And finding a discipline approach that fits your family and your individual children won't be found in one, two or even ten books by "parenting experts." What do I believe as a mother? I believe that children need to be respected. That their needs should be met and that their wants should be given attention. Does this mean that parents should give into everything that their children ask for? No. It simply means that children's needs should be listened to and acknowledged. Their wants are part of their personality. The way the ask for things tells parents alot about their children. If your child is asking you for lots of things, then take a minute and see if you are spending enough time with your child. It could be that your child is asking for you and not things.
Children have an intense need to be with their parents that is as basic as their need for nourishment. That is one of the philosophies of La Leche League. Why are children stressed when they are left somewhere? Because they have a need to be with their parents.
I believe strongly as I have watched my three children grow and blossom into thier own unique personalities that if they are honored and respected then they will honor and respect their parents and their world. Children that are squelched and told to be seen and not heard or even not seen nor heard will wilt and not bloom.
Children are children. They aren't little adults. Children want to play and playing is what children do best. Children learn through play. They learn to work out conflict with themsleves and thier friends. They learn to be creative and build. They learn to imagine and express themselves. They learn how the world works by building towers and seeing gravity pull them to the ground when they get too high. Children are the cornerstone of our society, yet we in the US tend to treat them as trophies. Awards to becoming adults. But children aren't rewards. They are gifts. Special gifts. The most precious thing that you will ever have. If we treat them that way then perhaps we wouldn't have so many problems in the world today.
A recent news story involved a mother who was summoned for jury duty. She had a nursing child and according to the law of her state she was exempt until the child weaned. She was held in contempt of court because she refused to put her 2 year old nursling into daycare to serve the judicial system. My husband and I just looked at each other and wondered if more mothers were staying with their children would we need as many jurors. Something to think about.
There are many books available to help you discover different ways of approaching working with your children. Some of my favorites are listed below. However, this is by no means a reading list meant to be followed to have perfect children. Children are already perfect, we just have to learn how to communicate with them. Reading books and magazines can help you find the pathways to a harmonious home, but they won't solve your problems completely. Getting to know your child and his personality are the most important things in learning about how your child thinks and your child's individual needs. Each child is so different. I have three very unique children. One of my children is noisy and mischevious when at home, but timid and quiet when in public. Another is cuddly and quiet at home but the center of attention when we go out, holding court if you will. My other child is playful and full of life everywhere he goes. None of my children's personalities is wrong, just unique and I don't want to change my children's personalities, but I want to help them grow in their uniqueness.